Daddy Bear

In preparation for Josh being away this summer, we took Hunter to Build-A-Bear to make a bear that could remind him of his daddy. We found an army uniform to dress the bear in and Josh was able to record his voice which we placed inside the bear. Hunter was still a little young to understand the process, but this bear will be cherished by both of us this summer!

botanical gardens

We enjoyed a beautiful morning at Missouri Botanical Gardens. Wednesday mornings they let residents in free! Perfect Spring Break outing. A ton of our friends were there, which made it extra fun.

is it him or is it me?

I just put Hunter down for his afternoon nap-- 15 minutes early and with very little lunch in his belly. After he threw his milk down on the floor three times, and threw multiple quesadillas, bread, and yogurt on the floor I gave him a one minute, very ineffective, timeout. I was at my boiling point. This is after taking him to Target, where we usually have lots of fun looking at things together. But today, he decided he did not want to sit in the cart. He somehow wiggled his way out of the strap and stood up in the seat while yelling "'get up! get up!" So, for the first time, I put him into the basket with his sippy of water and a few toys. I thought he could have fun playing in the basket. He thought it was punishment. He screamed and cried and got really angry at me.

I would love to let him walk beside me as we cruise through Target, but there is no way! He either runs his own direction or pulls everything off the shelves. Either way, I am not really shopping, I am wrangling a child who is so small yet can move so quickly. Not my idea of fun. In fact, it is testing my patience every step of the way. Today I am seriously questioning where my sweet little boy went and wondering if I will ever get him back.

He is too heavy to carry all the time, but it is one of the only ways to control his little body. He wants so badly to have independence, but he has no impulse control. Seriously. The kid has always been active, but this is a new level. His little body is able to do more and his mind is constantly wanting to know what is going on around him. Yesterday I took him to the mall play area, thinking it would be a fun outing and he could play in a different atmosphere. He is a sneaky little kid. Just when I thought he was starting to really enjoy the place, he would dart out and run through the mall, leaving me running after him desperately pleading with him to obey. He must have loved the scene it made and the attention he got, because this little song and dance repeated at least 10 times. I left there exhausted, angry, and seriously doubting my mothering skills.

My patience is worn thin and he is finding every hole. I am wondering if it is him that is acting crazy or if it is me. At the end of the day, it is probably both of us. He is entering a new developmental stage and I am still am still treating him as if he is in the old one. I, too, am entering a new stage of mothering. I need to learn to adapt to what he needs and grow in my patience. He needs more patience in how I approach disciplining him. But I also need to be patient with myself. I am still learning how to do this whole mothering thing. Hunter and I will have to learn together.

For now, I am going to enjoy a few minutes of a quiet house.

21 month pictures

A few mornings ago I went to get Hunter out of bed and I found him like this:

No pants. And he had somehow pulled his shirt over his head so that the neck hole was in the middle of his back. Funny kid!

His hair is getting really curly:




He still loves bath time:

He is getting better at using a spoon for himself:

indoor picnic

A few days ago it was absolutely beautiful outside. I wanted to soak up the sun so badly! So, during Hunter's nap I planned a picnic. I thought it would be fun to go to a local park and let Hunter run around while we enjoyed the long-awaited sun. By the time we got to the park, it was getting really windy and really cold. We let Hunter play for a bit before we packed everything up and decided to go home. I was really disappointed, but as we drove home we decided it could be an indoor picnic. So, we laid out our towel right on the living room floor, opened the windows, and had a picnic at home. It was so fun! Hunter loved it. I think we may have to do this more often!

21 months

The day almost slipped passed me before I realized it: Hunter is 21 months old!

I love that I am getting to learn more about his personality everyday. The other night I said, "Hunter, you know a lot of words. How many words do you know?" He said, "Two!" HAHAHA! Had us rolling! He is able to say lots of words now so often is it easy to tell what is on his mind. For example:
--> When we get into the car, the first thing he says is, "Dance!" He loves to have the music blare and dance in his car seat. (wonder where he learned that?!?)
-->If we are about to go somewhere, he says, "Coat! Hat! Keys! Door!" as if telling me the order of what needs to happen in order for us to go somewhere.
-->He has just started telling me what to do when I put him down for a nap or at bedtime. He says, "Blanket. Paci. Thomas (his humidifier). Heater. Light." He has picked up on our patterns and now wants to make sure I don't forget any steps.

To mark his 21-month birthday, he showed definite signs of growing up. He started the day by unzipping his pajamas, taking off his diaper, and exploring its contents by smearing them all over his bed. As a result, he was rewarded with a bath, complete with bubbles, first thing this morning. (Not really sure that taught him not to play with poo, but oh well, the kid had to get clean!) At lunch time he willingly ate grapes, carrots, rice, apples, and chickpeas. WOW! Finally he is branching out from his constant bread & cheese routine! Hooray!

Everyday, Hunter asks to play his piano (pi-o). He loves music and he can really hear the beat quite well. He loves trains, Bob the Builder (which he calls "bob" or "fix"), and milk. He spends his free time reading, playing with blocks, going for walks, and playing with friends. He is such a joy and we feel so blessed to have him in our family!

Patrick

Written Dec. 9, 2010
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Oh sweet baby
Growing inside of me
You are the answer to the prayer of my heart.
You are already loved!
I have hoped for you and I am so excited to meet you in a few months!
I hope you find my body a nice place to grow and get strong.
God has created you, dear one
And he has deemed it right for me to be your mommy.
What a huge blessing for me!
This world is beautifully tragic.
I cannot wait for you to come enjoy it.
We are praying for your development.
I love you so much, little one.


Written February 24, 2011
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Patrick

Saying Goodbye was not on my mind
That sunny Christmas afternoon.
You represented excitement and future plans
I already loved you so much.

As the doctor told us you were gone
The pain swelled in my heart.
Your presence in the world came and left
Far too quickly, but not without an impact.

Dear one, you were celebrated, longed for, and loved.
Your short life will not be forgotten.
My body was connected to yours from the beginning
And I will always miss you.

Now you get the gift of eternity
With the One who created you and knows all.
A perfect body, with the Perfect Lord
Your life is much more beautiful there than it would be here.

I am happy for that reality,
The gift of hope.
But I am sad I missed out knowing you.
My dear Patrick, I love you.
--Love, Mommy