Today a year ago, as I was putting the kids to bed, Josh received an email and immediately drove to the chapel. When I came downstairs after getting the kids situated I figured he had been called on an emergency, as that happened often when he was on call. But he showed back up a few minutes later, holding a piece of paper.
He said “I’m going to make you a margarita. You need to sit down.”
After being a little playful about it, he let it out. He had received PCS orders to move our family.
Completely out of the blue. We weren’t expecting orders for at least another year.
The shock of that set in with a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. Of course I immediately wanted to know WHERE.
The look on his face made me know he felt hesitant to tell me.
My heart pounding, I was like, ok. Tell me.
“Japan. Misawa, Japan.”
My first thought was.... honey there has been a terrible mistake. You misread the email. They sent you the wrong one. This can’t be real.
Then I felt every human emotion all at the same time. It surreal. I was terrified.
Many of my friends can tell you about my tears that flowed for days after receiving this info. The fear. The unknown. The sheer amount of work that needed to be done to get 5 people into a different country in just 3 months. I was absolutely terrified. And overwhelmed.
And I stayed in that state for months, as I hurriedly cleaned out my house, had a garage sale, listed my house for sale, went to 1 million appointments for myself and my kids to get clearance to move to Japan. Honestly I wanted to sabotage those efforts. I was swimming in emotions. Some deep part of me knew I needed to submit this to God’s calling and timing in my life. So I didn’t sabotage. But the temptation was REAL.
The preparation to move became my full time job. I had to let go of my job I had worked so hard to get up and running. I cried and cried. I attempted to trust. But it didn’t come naturally to me. I was in a state of fear and uncertainty.
With our July date looming, I felt so much pressure to do allthethings and see allthepeople. I fit so much into those 3 months.
And then we boarded a plane and landed in northern, rural Japan.
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Now it has been a year since the news of a move exploded into my life. Military life is full of compromise for the spouse. We are fully committed to supporting our service member. When our spouse gets orders, we also get orders. It is a family commitment to serve.
Today I feel so much compassion for a-year-ago-me. That was so intense. And it was hard. I came to Japan kicking and screaming.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
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