Connection

Over coffee with a friend this week, I listened to her story. I heard her talk about military life, the constant TDYs, the separation from extended family, and the never-ending needs of her children. She talked about a scary medical diagnosis in her family and her desire to connect more deeply with her spouse. We touched on how difficult it is to make friends and how painful it is to endure betrayal. Our children interrupted, needing potty help and snacks. Yet, we would bounce right back into conversation. She listened to me, too. I shared my own struggles with living overseas, surprise inconveniences of military life, and my difficulty living many different time zones away from my family and close friends.

We truly connected while sipping our from our coffee mugs. After we shared our lives with one another, I felt lighter. Not because anything had changed, but because I didn’t feel alone.

As I listened to her, I saw her deep joy mixed with confusion and a hint of fear. Her situation is drastically different from mine but her emotions feel eerily familiar. That emotional connection we shared reminds me that life is messy and hard and yet beautiful for everyone.

I have been going through my own stressful period in my life and I have been contemplating how people make it through the ups and downs of life. As I listened to my friend, I recognized that community provides such a jewel of hope in the midst of life’s chaos. I’m not talking about simply being around people. No, what is needed is a much deeper engagement of our souls.

True community does not come easily. Feeling connection with others requires I get out of my comfort zone and face the vulnerability of putting myself out there. It requires I stop gossiping and instead share personally about myself. In order to share about myself, I have to know myself, so that means I have to dig deep into my emotional world and discover what is truly happening inside of me.

Sometimes all of that work to get to real connection stops me from seeking it. Sometimes I try to share and I find the person isn’t trustworthy. But oh, when I bravely share and connect with people who are trustworthy, my burdens become lighter and the joy is multiplied.

This connection feels deeply spiritual to me, as it mimics what my Lord offers me in relationship with Him. His community of people are truly a gift.