Playground Thoughts

This afternoon we took a walk to Conway Park--across the street from campus. We set out a little before 4 p.m. with a picnic and our tennis shoes so we could have a leisurely evening in the beautiful weather. It was so pleasant. Josh & I took turns holding the baby or playing with Hunter around the playground. Hunter continually amazes me. He is so creative. Since he is two, he loves to "boss around" his daddy & me. The perfect place to do that is on the playground--I took my orders with a smile. I so enjoyed going down the slides with him and chasing him around.

 I love being outside. I have decided it is one of the best ways for me to recharge. Getting away from the distractions, like the never-ending chores and the ever-calling internet, I am able to truly tune in to the moment. I loved watching Hunter run and jump and enjoy being alive. He is so full of life.

 This stage of motherhood has been very difficult and I have been struggling with it. Two-year-olds are a lot of work. They require more patience than is humanly possible. Hunter still has a lot of physical needs but he strongly desires independence. He also has a lot of emotional needs as he is learning more and more about his world. For example, he constantly (like at least 3 times a day) asks me if I am happy. This question always takes me off guard. I never want him to think he is responsible for my happiness or that I do not love him if I am not happy. So I don't want to burden him with things he doesn't need to worry about if I am not happy at that moment. But on the other hand, I want to build an honest relationship with him where emotions, both positive and negative, are welcomed. But then again, he is only 2 (almost 3!). In the moment I usually end up saying something like, "No, mommy isn't happy but it has nothing to do with you, I love you." OR "No, I am not happy with your behavior, but I always love you, Hunter." And then I spend the next hour fretting over my word choice. I am not sure what drives his question, but it makes me excited that he cares about how the people around him are feeling.

 Parenting is the single most difficult job I have ever had. Though this time is hard, it is flying past me. I cannot believe Hunter is going to be 3 in a few weeks and Adelyn is well on her way to being 6 months old. A relative of mine said on Facebook recently, "The days are long but the years are short." When it comes to parenting young children, that quote is so true. The days around here are long. They are tough. There are moments that I don't know if I will survive. Sounds dramatic, but it is true. I lose my patience, I get bored, I get exhausted by the never-ending laundry and dishes. And then I have moments of pure love as I get to watch little personalities develop, true delight be expressed, and see the sense of wonder in both of their eyes. It is a hard job with rewards. Sometimes the rewards are few & far between. But they do exist.

 Tonight when we got home, I did the bedtime routine with Hunter. We read "Telling Time With Thomas" and cuddled on his bed. I asked him what he wanted to pray for and he said three things: 1. "Sir Topham Hat be nice to Thomas." 2. "The wheels on the bus keep going 'round and 'round." 3. "Baby sister would get lotion on her after her bath." True prayer requests of a 2 year old. I was just so happy he wanted to say things to Jesus. What a sweet boy.

 I am thankful for an evening with my family-- free from the normal distractions of life and full of simple togetherness. My prayer for the evening? That I would remember how much I love my kids and how this demanding season of their life is just that-- a season.