Today one year ago started off with me finally giving in and saying YES to an epidural. I asked for it and within 15 minutes the anesthesiologist was there and had his work done. At this point I had progressed to a 6. I was excited but still a little angry that was as far as I had progressed after a full days worth of work. I got the epidural at 2 a.m. and within 30 minutes I was able to sleep-- deep, real sleep for the first time since Wednesday night.
They woke me up around 5:30, I think, to check my progress. I felt so much better after having some rest but I was unable to feel my left leg AT ALL. I had limited feeling in my right leg. It was a weird sensation but in comparison to what I would have been feeling, it was like heaven! They said I was a 10 and ready to push. WOAH. Talk about a crazy wake up call. "Okay now it is time to have a baby!" I didn't expect that. I guess part of me had lost hope after how long the day before had been. By 6 a.m. I was pushing with the nurse. It took me a while to get the hang of it since I couldn't feel anything. They had to tell me each time a contraction was coming. Shortly after I started pushing, my epidural FELL OUT of my back.. seriously, I was starting to feel the pain more and asked if they had turned off my meds... they quickly realized the needle had fallen out! They had the anesthesiologist come back to fix it. Then Hunter's heart rate started to go crazy. It was way too low in between contractions and way too high during them. The nurses were shoving oxygen on my face in between every push... It was so stressful and I was so scared. I had no time to take a break at all. I would push and then have to deep breathe so Hunter could get oxygen. This still wasn't working, so they used the vacuum on Hunter to try to help him out. One try. Two tries. Three tries. Four tries. None successful. At this point they were VERY CONCERNED about Hunter's health. The doctor came to me with papers to sign saying that I needed to have a C-section and that they needed to get me in there fast.
By 8:10 I was in the operating room getting set up. Josh was able to come in with me and stand by my head. They didn't allow either one of us to see anything. It was so cold and I was soooo thirsty. I hadn't been allowed to drink anything all morning. I remember shivering all over-- I think it was a side effect of the medicine as well as me being so nervous. Josh held my arm (since both my hands were strapped down with medical gear) and was comforting. All we could do now was wait.
Then, we heard the cry. I knew my baby was alive and in the world! He was born at 8:22 a.m. The rushed him off to a side room and I could see the doctors, but not the baby. They did all their checks on him and said he looked healthy. Then they allowed Josh to go meet him. Oh, the jealousy! Serious, serious jealousy! They did let me see Hunter before they took him to the nursery... I couldn't touch him yet, but I saw his beautiful face. They fixed me up and then took me to a recovery room where I had to be monitored for about 45 minutes. I was dying of thirst. I thought my tongue was going to fall out of my dry mouth. The nurse wouldn't let me have anything at all. About 30 minutes into it, my doula snuck me a piece of ice and that was sooooo awesome.
I was still really out of it when they wheeled me back to my room. I couldn't feel anything below my chest. FINALLY Josh brought Hunter to me. I was finally able to greet my son and hold him and feed him.
He was so precious. Such distinct features! His little face was so huggable and he was so tiny he just fit right on one arm. He was very sleepy and cuddly. Oh I immediately loved him!!!
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Today Hunter woke up at 3 a.m. Josh thinks he was having a bad dream because he called out "DA DA" and when Josh went in there he was trying to get out of the back of his crib, which is the part facing the wall. He was all turned around. We tried everything to comfort him and finally at about 4 we gave up and brought him into our bed. He tossed and turned and pulled my hair... But no resting!
We decided since it was his birthday and he loves baths so much that we would give him 2 baths, so we ran one early for him. He had so much fun. Then we let him explore his presents and open one before we left for church. During church he fell asleep in my arms for about 20 minutes. Then he was up and ready to go again! We put him in his crib for his normal nap and he would have none of that! After about an hour of him talking to himself, we got him up and let him crawl around. Then we opened presents. He got a little tikes piano, maracas, and an alphabet bus. He also got a card with money from his great grandpa Ray and a stuffed animal turtle from great grandpa Jack and greatnana Bev.
We had a cupcake party for him with neighbors and friends at Covenant. It was so special to celebrate him with people we have met here. He devoured his cupcake and loved every bit of it!!!
I feel so grateful that we have been parents to Hunter for a whole year now! What a blessing it is to love that little guy! He has changed me for the better. I told him tonight that I am a better person because of him.
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