“Where there is a lack of rest there is an abundance of stress.” - Lisa Terkeurst
Well this quote hit me between the eyes today.
I have been so stressed. Like beyond stressed. I keep finding mold every time I drive to north base and peer inside my old house. My body and mind shut down every time I’m there, overwhelmed with the work that needs to happen and the sheer amount of loss we are having to endure. Yesterday our losses included my insulated shopping bag and Adelyn’s sparkly shoes. The day before we found mold on one of my dresses and on one of Josh’s suits. It just keeps adding up and my blood pressure keeps increasing.
At this point our loss is about $6,000.
At the end of the day, it is just stuff. And we are so thankful for our health and for no longer sleeping in that space. We have been provided a clean, safe place to sleep as all of this gets sorted out. I’m seriously thankful that the base has given us this.
Yet the stress continues to pile on, sometimes at a rate that makes me want to scream “uncle!!!” And run away.
We should have already been in our new place by this point but due to Josh’s job we are still in limbo. Our items are becoming moldier by the day. But God knew all of this, and I know he hasn’t forgotten us. And yes I know this is first world problem, no doubt. Even so, it is a lot to process. I really liked my living room furniture and decor.
All of this loss is outside of my control. Stress is a natural response to dealing with it. I don’t blame myself and I wouldn’t blame anyone going through this for feeling stressed and unable to function on a normal level.
But God.
It’s really the only antidote.
God calls me to rest upon Him, not stress myself to the point of not being able to function. He is my mighty rock and salvation. He goes before and hems me in and asks that I have faith through thick and thin.
That is what I did today. I didn’t stress, rather I took my family out to eat and to explore the beauty in Japan. I watched my kids climb rocks and eat fluffy pancakes rather than asking them to clean and sort every inch of their rooms. It was a conscious choice to not work today. While I have some anxiety about “wasting” today, deep down I know it wasn’t a waste by any means. Josh’s days off are few and far between. And our kids are growing by the second. So today, trusting God and enjoying my family is much more important than anything mold can destroy.
My hope is in the Lord. Whatever moth and rust (and mold) can destroy is not worth sacrificing this hope and rest.
Only by his grace I did enjoy today, and I laid beside my worries.
